Thoughts on 07/08 Hall XI Production

Few of them have asked me, why I do not want to stay in hall from next sem onwards? Is it because of hall production?

Part of the reason, I think it is. Through this year hall production, it made me realise some things, that they are hard to describe with words. It's something that is felt within, something which can never be described and understood by others, unless you've been through it before. Perhaps it's my thinking which cause me to have this feeling...

True enough, I can just continue to stay in hall next sem, without the need to do other stuff but, things will never be the same again. My mum said something before, some time back, that I'm different from my brother, who stayed in hall throughout his 4 years of uni life, as for the reason, she didn't say. But I truly admit it. Brother doesn't care much, and would be more of "like that lor", happy-go-lucky but I guess it doesn't work for me... at least not anymore....

I used to be a happy-go-lucky but now, I think alot. It's not I didn't think much previously, but I don't take it to heart so seriously, but right now, everything I do, I'll think alot before I carry out my actions.

Although I know things I do, shouldn't be done just because I want to please people, but isn't that what life is? I mean, if I were to really go straight ahead, without stopping and heck care other stuff, all the rest wouldn't be happy. However, if I stopped to think about it, do what is best for everyone, majority would be happy. Isn't it better? At least 1 person suffer is better than the rest, right? Perhaps not all would agree with me, but I guess I'm really a silent worker, and of course consider others before myself... I know I'm at a losing end but, that's the best for everyone...

I truly believe authority and letting people listen to you, should not be done with scolding, although sometimes, it must be done. But what's the point of scolding? It demoralizes people, and I guess I would entirely know the feeling. However, sometimes, this soft-heartedness would kill me too....

I know I'm not the only one who is 'suffering'. There are others too, and I know. I can see everything, and I know everyone's emotions. I really do, which is why I'm trying my best not to discourage you all more.... I'm not entirely a vocal person, and definitely, I would just want to be alone, without any distractions, to clear thoughts.... but it'll never be cleared....

And I do hate responsibility sometimes....

No.... I didn't cry after production... but I'm feeling emo as I typed this entry coz of all the emotions and everything which is going through me now.... I thought I'm numb to all feelings, but sometimes, it would just struck me suddenly....

To entire production crew: Thanks for everything and the contributions. No matter how small it is, I know your contributions, and your hardwork. Yes, I can see everyone's contributions, I'm not oblivious to anything. I really, recognise the efforts you put in, deep dow from my heart. It's not 客套话 but it's really what I feel.
I apologize to all as well, whom I have caused distress, stress, upset, unhappiness, anger to.



To Jiefeng, Weitao, Yongjie, Cindy, Weiling: All of you are graduating seniors and most of you are busy with FYP, and yet you all came to help out in the production. Initially, I didn't want to ask you all to help coz it's your final year and I really wanted to let you all concentrate on your final year. But your aid in production really helped out alot, andI'm really grateful to all. Deep within my heart, thanks a million.

To props head, Kelvin & Jason Sim: I'm glad to have both of you as my props head coz both of you are really responsible and Mr. Nice Guy. All the unreasonable requirements made, both of you have met it and over the expectations. Without all the 'zai' props and the fast speed of changing scene, the show would not have been a success. Thanks for communicating effectively with the subcomm. I hereby thank the props subcomm too. Thanks.

To SMs, Moh Kwan & Yi-Sheng: Although the role of SMs is to give cues during the performance, but your timing must be good and acurate. Perhaps in the beginning, both of yu are uncertain of what to do, and also with the script being finalised so late, it is more bothering for both of you. However, both of you were able to make it and final performance is a success, with the contribution you have made, together with the rest of the contributions by other individual portfolios. Thanks.

To lights I/Cs, Zheng Xi & Kun Guan: Planning of lights is difficult and even though the cue is executed by just pressing the button, in which the cues are programmded, still timing must match with cues given by SMs. Communication through the intercom is the most fun when actual performance is ongoing, coz while everyone else is serious, you guys can still have fun while doing your job. Thanks.

To sound I/Cs, Kim Lin & Jason Lin: The sound level has always been required to change, in accordance to how loud the casts are speaking but you guys did it great. Like lights, the timing must match the cues given by SMs otherwise, it would just sound off. Thanks.

To make-up heads, Jinglin & YanXi: It is boring when actual performance is going on, but thanks for hanging in there. Thanks to all subcomm to whom they have helped the casts to put on make-up, prepare the change of clothes as well. Thanks.

To casts: I have always been lenient to you and I know I'm not a good director. Perhaps, you all really don't know your character well, until Jiamin stepped in to help. I guess from there, you all knew your character better, but sometimes, the words that you all've said are hurtful to me. I know you all are speaking and thinking in professional way and meant no harm. I'm not blaming you all or anything... It's just my thinking and I tend to really think alot... and I mean alot... Seriously, I really do believe that Jiamin and Miaoteng make better directors that I am... but afterall, it's just my thinking and opinion again... However, you all are playful and sometimes, will cause people to think that you are not serious enough but when it boils down to seriousness, you all can really become serious. Thanks for the effort you all have put in, the time taken up and eveything. Thanks.

To Bing Sheng: Thanks for handling all the admin side of stuff but sometimes, you need to share to the load with me as well, and to let me know certain stuff coz sometimes, there are some things that I may be able to help but you didn't give me a chance to. I know that you know that I'm busy but you are busy with your stuff as well. Share the burden too. Perhaps there's a miscommunication and misunderstandings within the 3 of us, but if time can travel back, I really do hope that it would not happen. But what's done is done, and I really appreciate what you have done and to the fullest. Your efforts are really recognized but perhaps, the initial fire and passion we used to have, has died down as time goes by. Still, thanks alot.

To Miaoteng: Apologise to you coz you always carry out the role of the 'bad guy' coz I always don't have the heart to scold when things go wrong. It is because of this, there may be misconceptions about you but I know what you are not like that. I know you are not that pleased during the first day of bump-in coz I was helping too much of tech side, and getting involved but as the only director, I have to be the tech director as well. I know the casts have you, Jiamin and Jiahong to take care of, which is why I tend to focus more on tech side. All are inexperienced, and I know by that time, I should not lead anymore but with the experience I have gained in tech side for several years, I think I should help. They are doing their job as well, and also learning at the same time, with responsibility, which is why that day I defended for them, when Jiahong asked me something, which most prob I think he did tell you. I really see the 100% effort they put in. But because you have the experience as a cast, you are able to lead the casts in a better way. Thanks for everything. Thanks.

To Jiamin: Miscommuncation, misunderstandings.... It's been all sorted out. I know you don't want to be the 'bad guy' as well, but I guess with the effort you've put into the casts, you definitely expect a higher expectation. Thanks for taking care of the casts and leading them into the character. Thanks.

To Jiahong: Thanks for coming back to help out, and also thanks for the donuts.

To Singying: Thanks gal, for being there when I'm emotionally unstable. You are the one who can really understand how I feel. Thanks for coming back to help, despite your hectic schedule. No words can express my gratitude. Thanks.

To all admin crew: Perhaps on the actual performance, people don't really see the efforts you've contributed but as the director, I can see. Without PnP, people will not know the existence of the production. Without welfare, there'll be no food for everyone and all will just die of starvation. Without biz mags, we'll have no money to carry out for this production. Without logistics, we'll have no vehicles to transport the props and no bus to go to and fro to SRT. Without FC, our financial statement will be in total mess. Without secretary, our minutes of meetings can just go down to the drain. Thanks.


1 and a half hour spent on this entry... didn't realise I'm so emo... time to move on....


曲终人散。。。
天下没有不散的宴席。。。
再见了。。。2007/2008拾壹制作。。。